…in no particular order:
1. The assumption that all women in BDSM are submissive, all men are dominant, and everyone is both straight and cisgender.
2. The assumption that kinky people haven’t examined their desires.
3. …and that non-kinky people have a better idea about where those desires come from and what they mean than kinky people do.
4. The assumption that BDSM is synonymous with (or the gateway to) partner abuse.
5. The suggestion that kinky fantasies are linked to past trauma, especially rape or molestation, and that kinky folks are in need of therapy.
6. The outrageous assertion that non-kinky people have it worse, because in our sex-positive culture (uh, since when?) they’re considered boring prudes.
7. Comments from “recovered masochists” who tell horror stories about some seriously fucked up relationship they had, extrapolating from their experience to speak for all people who have ever played with BDSM.
8. The bizarre notion that BDSM always involves rape play, degradation / humiliation play, anal sex, and/or a man ejaculating on a woman’s face/body.
9. The assumption that women in BDSM were introduced to it by a (male) partner who either forced or coerced them into one of the above activities.
10. The assumption that kinky women who are not ashamed of being kinky think their desires are liberating and somehow inherently more feminist/powerful than those of non-kinky women.