Revisions for Open Sauce

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20/03/2011 - 23:37 by Anonymous

provide an opening for some sort of continuation, why is he asking about he time? what he has in his mind? has he planned something?

20/03/2011 - 23:31 by Anonymous

living doll concept: gradually introducing kinky behaviour and role play into mainstream storyline

20/03/2011 - 17:55 by Anonymous

more details about shoulders shaking, fingers typing - more lustful, vulgar deleted too descriptive bits more direct tone placed the action indoors changed the genders again as it was slightly confusing made the female character more self-assured and decisive less romanticised

19/03/2011 - 11:51 by Anonymous

Basically, I turned "him" into "her". In my opinion, now, it's hotter...

17/03/2011 - 10:59 by Anonymous

Double quotes for speech in first sentence

16/03/2011 - 11:33 by Anonymous

Made the lovers more casual acquaintances; more lustful - removed the comedy innuendos used by longer term partners.

15/03/2011 - 07:12 by Anonymous

Added some dynamism to the story. Characters and situations were, to my taste, excessively serious for lovebirds; got rid of Angela Carter, added a touch of humour. Changed the setting.

13/03/2011 - 22:20 by radicalx

The first version of Open Sauce - please edit